Our model, which art in nowhere. Guessing be thy name. Thy assumptions come, Thy will be done in future as it was in the past. Give us this day our premium rates, and forgive us our lousy estimates, as we forgive those who supply us with crappy data. Lead us not into insolvencies, and deliver us from auditors. For thine is the NAME? Submitted by Steve Tong at stong loom. Question: Why did the actuary put in his will that he is to be buried in Israel? Answer: The chances of resurrection are better there.

Engineers Day 2018: These funny yet relatable tweets will make your day!

If you need some engineering humor to brighten up your life, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the internet. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that most people just don’t understand. We joke about things like electricity and programming languages — and nothing could be funnier. If you need some more material or just need to brighten up your day, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the web. Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference.

Dating Humor Quotes, Dating Memes, Funny Quotes,. Saved from ​ Kimberly Palmer. More information. engineering jokes – Yahoo.

The birth anniversary of world-renowned civil engineer Mokshagundam Visvesvaraya is celebrated every year as Engineer’s Day in India. Fondly referred to as Sir MV, M Visvesvaraya devoted his life to engineering, and it is in his remembrance that Engineer’s Day is celebrated every year on September Today, as Google celebrates Engineer’s Day with a special Google Doodle and leaders wish everyone on social media, Twitter is doing what it does best: cracking jokes.

So we compiled some of the funniest tweets that show the lighter side of the life of an engineer. Here are some of the funniest tweets on the occasion of Engineer’s Day. They are sure to make every engineer and others as well laugh out loud:. Happy “bahut scope hai” day EngineersDay. Being an Engineer it hurts , but that’s the truth of today’s situation of Engineering field. Never regret though. Engineers never die they just go offline.

Happy EngineersDay!

Just for fun! 10 jokes about (and for) engineers

Different people come with different takes on humor and engineers are no exception. While everyone can enjoy a good joke, there are always a few in-group jokes specifically tailored to a group of people that unfortunately not many other people will get Anyone can build a bridge. It takes an engineer to just barely build a bridge. Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool.

Strike – An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken. Delayed Payment – A tourniquet applied at the pockets. Completion Date -.

Thanks to the ones who thought of them first. A group of managers were given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. The Aviation Department had a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The theory was that if the windshield does not crack from the impact of the chicken, it will survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The Railroad Department heard of this device and decided to use it for testing a windshield on a locomotive they were developing.

So the Railroad Department borrowed the device, loaded a chicken and fired at the windshield of the locomotive. The Railroad Department was stunned and contacted the Aviation Department to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly. The Aviation Department reviewed the test thoroughly and sent a report. The Director of a software company proudly announced that a flight software developed by the company was installed in an airplane and the airlines was offering free first flights to the members of the company.

Engineering Humor

Paganini’s violin concert performed with facial expressions. A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve. Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all.

He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope.

When a JavaScript date has gone bad, “Don’t call me, I’ll callback you. I promise!” Dev1 saw a strange JavaScript function & asked, “What is this?”. Dev2.

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. You only have six months to live. An engineer, an architect and an actuary are stranded on a desert island with only one can of baked beans and no can opener. The engineer suggests lighting a fire to heat up the can so that the contents will expand and force the can to open.

The architect says the contents would scatter all over the place, so he suggests building a structure around the fire to catch the contents. An accountant, a lawyer, and an actuary are walking down the street when they come upon a man who has just accidently dropped a number of coins out of his pocket onto the sidewalk. The accountant glances around at the coins, totals their value, and advises the man on how much he lost.

Jokes Comic Strips

Mechanical engineer Austin and Laura who works in sales and marketing, answer the age-old dating question: do opposites attract? I definitely prefer to meet people in real life. I find it way easier to go out and talk to people in person. She was definitely really friendly and funny and had good banter. All the usual stuff like what we do for fun and travelling.

Dec 21, – Intelligent dating for smart singles, visit IQ Catch h.​com to find your ideal IQ partner today. See more ideas about Math humor, Math jokes, Math puns. Community. An Engineers Quick Calculus Integrals Reference.

At least two of these jokes have been used in engineering classrooms to help students remember concepts and to lighten the mood. Please feel free to use them in your own classroom, and let me know what you think! Would you like me to write some jokes for your classroom material? Drop me an email and we can arrange something. I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all the websites keep returning “Not Found” errors.

An area code for phone numbers in Atlanta is , which is also a response code from webservers that means “not found. The sophisticated AI I released onto the ‘net didn’t do quite what I expected. GiveUp ; you. LetDown ; around. Desert ; you. MakeCry ; goodbye.

Software Testing Jokes

If you follow me on Twitter elijahmanor , you may have noticed that I like a good pun and I like to create them as well. The following is a list of curated original puns. Please, don’t groan all at once When a JavaScript date has gone bad, “Don’t call me, I’ll callback you. I promise! Dev2 responded, “I don’t know.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice.

Bored in lockdown? Unable to head to the workshop and build that gadget you’ve been designing for the last three months? Think there’s nothing better than a meme to brighten up a dull day? Fret no longer, bored engineers! But maybe after a well-earned meme break. Hate memes? Maybe you’ll find comfort in our list of things engineers hate. Science — perfection, proof, beauty.

The Lighten Side: Engineering Jokes

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